One Drink Too Many
by psychodramabeautyfish
Summary: some Vampaneze getting drunk - the result of me being bored in Biology when my teacher was rambling about the effects of alcohol. it's very bad and ends abruptly.


Gannen stood up, swaying unsteadily.

"Oh come on Gannen!" Jeered a Vampaneze whose name he couldn't remember. "It's no where near sunrise!"

Gannen shook his head, which turned out to be a bad idea. The world tilted and he crashed heavily down to the floor and giggled.

"No!" he said, struggling to his feet and trying to assert some remaining authority. "No! Bad! Have to go… Been here too long already! Gonna be in BIG trouble!"

This idea for some reason was incredibly funny and made him splutter with laughter through another mouthful of whiskey.

R.V. giggled, not quite as stark raving, table top dancing, piss pour, stripping off style drunk as his superior but getting there. "Sunrise is time for sleepy bye byes!" he slurred, trying to leer at Gannen but not being able to figure out which one of the two he was seeing was the real one so aiming for somewhere between them.

"And we all know where-" He burped loudly, which set him off giggling again. "Who, hic, Gannen goes sleepy bye byes!"

Gannen aimed for R.V.'s head, the glass in his hand passed dangerously close to his temple but missed. "You-" he began, then pausing to remember the rest of his sentence and failing, "Go… go do whatever it is you do!"

He swallowed the rest of his drink and put the glass down on the table. There was a crash of shattering glass and he realized he'd missed the table completely.

"Fuck…"

"Hell yeah!" Cried a Vampaneze happily, pouring himself another drink and managing to hit the glass on the third go.

Gannen tried very hard to bring the speaker into focus.

"You…what? Lamorak?"

Lamorak drained his recently filled glass at a speed that wasn't healthy and swivelled round on his perch to face Gannen properly.

He concentrated and managed to point at his friend. "You said fuck and I said yea!"

Gannen's brain partially registered this. "I'm… sure I didn't mean that…"

"Not to us." Giggled a small Vampaneze sitting too his left, whose name was Talfryn.

Gannen rounded on him but it was badly coordinated and he hit his elbow on the chair back.

"OW! You say what now?"

R.V. snickered, his more sober side happy that he wasn't as drunk as his superior, because if he was then he wouldn't be able to enjoy this as much.

"I said…" Talfryn cooed. "Not to us you don't!"

Gannen squinted at him. "I don't what?"

Lamorak caught on and burst out laughing. "Gannen and St-"

"Don't you say another bloody word!" Cried Gannen, spinning around to hit him and crashing into him.

Lamorak smiled crookedly as he registered that his best friend had just jumped on him. "Haha…you fell over!"

The tie slipped out of Gannen's long hair as he tried to pick himself up, letting it fall around his shoulders.

"Ooh pretty…" slurred Lamorak, reaching out to touch his friend's hair.

"No… touching!" protested Gannen, slapping Lamorak's fingers away and finally managing to stand up again.

"But I wanna!" whined Lamorak.

"Give me that!" demanded the younger yet superior Vampaneze, snatching the bottle out of his hand and guzzling it.

"Oi!" he protested. "Give tha' back!"

"You've had enough to drink." Replied Gannen between gulps.

"Oh and you haven't?" he shot back, grabbing for the bottle.

Gannen stumbled back out of reach and stared moodily into the bottle. "None left anyway." He declared, carefully making sure the table was actually there before putting it down.

"Ngh." Replied Lamorak crossly, plonking himself down in a nearby chair and crossing his legs. "Bet you've never been drunk before. You're all over the place."

"Have too!" protested his friend angrily.

"Uh hu sure."

"Have!"

"I remember the first time I got drunk you know." Cut in a slender Vampaneze perched on a bar stool which was falling to bits.

They all turned groggily to look at him.

"You gonna enlightened us Valken?" asked Gannen.

Valken sighed and stared into his rapidly emptying glass.

"Had a couple o' bottles of cheap French plonk with me friends... Got arrested for disorderly conduct by a policeman with a beard. Couldn't quite hold it in after that."

The others weren't quite sure what to make of this statement.

"I can't remember the first time I got drunk…" pondered Lamorak.

"I can."

They all looked at Gannen with something close to amazement. Firstly that he could actually remember, and secondly that he was actually telling them about it.

"You can?"

Gannen nodded. "Yea."

"Oh?"

"Yea, midwinter festival. There was this big party down in the village, ended up dancing with the landlord's daughter – no idea how. I was alright until we started spinning, then I just had to be sick. Got so in trouble for that. My brother had to drag me back up the hill. Try working with a hangover."

R.V. snorted and stuff came out his nose.

"How old were you?" inquired Lamorak.

"Er… fourteen I think."

R.V.'s giggles increased.

"Fourteen?" Valken scoffed.

Gannen nodded furiously. "Long time ago."

"Oh."

Lamorak lounged back in his chair, and then re-thought it after he nearly toppled to the floor.

"How about girlfriends?" he asked.

R.V. made a noise that was half-way to a cheer. Gannen shrugged. Valken sighed again. Before Talfryn could open his mouth and lie about his experience in that particular field, Lamorak cut him off.

"R.V. you first!"

This had probably been intended to cause embarrassment but R.V. answered almost immediately.

"Kirsten. Kirsty. Lovely girl, very pretty face. Always had twigs in her hair." He said, looking a little wistful.

"That it?"

"Nooo," The ex-eco-warrior shook his head. "Just can't think of any right now…"

"Uh hu." Said Lamorak. "Gannen?"

"No way!" shouted R.V.

"No I meant its Gannen's turn." Lamorak explained.

Gannen blinked. "What?"


End file.
